Noticing is the easy part. What follows is a conversation most families postpone, and a few things that make it go better.
Before any conversation, spend a week noting specifics. Not impressions — examples, with dates.
“Mum seems forgetful” is almost useless to a doctor. “On the 3rd she asked me the same question about the appointment four times in an afternoon; on the 9th she could not work out how to use the washing machine she has had for eleven years” is clinically meaningful. The difference matters because the kind of lapse is what distinguishes ordinary ageing from something worth investigating.
It also protects you from the opposite error. A week of notes sometimes shows that what felt alarming is three ordinary lapses that happened to cluster.
The person you are worried about has almost certainly noticed before you did, and has been more frightened about it for longer.
Go together if you are allowed to. Bring the written examples and the full medication list, including anything bought over the counter and any supplements — those get omitted constantly and some of them matter.
Expect a conversation about what has been noticed, a short cognitive screen, a medication review and blood tests. Ask directly whether thyroid, B12, sleep apnoea, depression and hearing have been considered. They usually will have been, but asking costs nothing.
Family members in this position tend to put their own health last for years. Your blood pressure check, your hearing test and your sleep matter too — and if the situation becomes long-term, the person who burns out first helps nobody.
On supplements. No dietary supplement treats, prevents or slows dementia, and buying one for someone whose memory is genuinely declining can delay the appointment that matters. Products in this category are for general memory and focus support in healthy adults. If the pattern has changed, the appointment is the step.
Frame it as a routine check-up rather than a verdict, lead with the treatable causes like thyroid, B12 and hearing, pick a calm moment rather than one straight after a lapse, and offer to go with them. Expect the first conversation to go nowhere; the second often goes better.
Specific examples with dates rather than general impressions, and the full medication list including anything over the counter and any supplements. The kind of lapse is what distinguishes ordinary ageing from something worth investigating.